《[夜与日].(night.and.day).(英)弗吉尼亚·伍尔芙.文字版》

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[夜与日].(night.and.day).(英)弗吉尼亚·伍尔芙.文字版- 第86部分


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not see her in the body; he seemed curiously to see her 
as a shape of light; the light itself; he seemed; simplified 
and exhausted as he was; to be like one of those lost 
birds fascinated by the lighthouse and held to the glass 

by the splendor of the blaze。 

These thoughts drove him to tramp a beat up and down 
the pavement before the Hilberys’ gate。 He did not trouble 
himself to make any plans for the future。 Something of 
an unknown kind would decide both the ing year and 
the ing hour。 Now and again; in his vigil; he sought 
the light in the long windows; or glanced at the ray which 
gilded a few leaves and a few blades of grass in the little 
garden。 For a long time the light burnt without changing。 
He had just reached the limit of his beat and was 
turning; when the front door opened; and the aspect of 
the house was entirely changed。 A black figure came down 
the little pathway and paused at the gate。 Denham understood 
instantly that it was Rodney。 Without hesitation; 
and conscious only of a great friendliness for any 
one ing from that lighted room; he walked straight 
up to him and stopped him。 In the flurry of the wind 
Rodney was taken aback; and for the moment tried to 
press on; muttering something; as if he suspected a demand 
upon his charity。 

“Goodness; Denham; what are you doing here?” he ex


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claimed; recognizing him。 

Ralph mumbled something about being on his way home。 
They walked on together; though Rodney walked quick 
enough to make it plain that he had no wish for pany。 

He was very unhappy。 That afternoon Cassandra had 
repulsed him; he had tried to explain to her the difficulties 
of the situation; and to suggest the nature of his 
feelings for her without saying anything definite or anything 
offensive to her。 But he had lost his head; under 
the goad of Katharine’s ridicule he had said too much; 
and Cassandra; superb in her dignity and severity; had 
refused to hear another word; and threatened an immediate 
return to her home。 His agitation; after an evening 
spent between the two women; was extreme。 Moreover; 
he could not help suspecting that Ralph was wandering 
near the Hilberys’ house; at this hour; for reasons connected 
with Katharine。 There was probably some understanding 
between them—not that anything of the kind 
mattered to him now。 He was convinced that he had never 
cared for any one save Cassandra; and Katharine’s future 
was no concern of his。 Aloud; he said; shortly; that he 

was very tired and wished to find a cab。 But on Sunday 
night; on the Embankment; cabs were hard to e by; 
and Rodney found himself constrained to walk some distance; 
at any rate; in Denham’s pany。 Denham maintained 
his silence。 Rodney’s irritation lapsed。 He found 
the silence oddly suggestive of the good masculine qualities 
which he much respected; and had at this moment 
great reason to need。 After the mystery; difficulty; and 
uncertainty of dealing with the other sex; intercourse 
with one’s own is apt to have a posing and even 
ennobling influence; since plain speaking is possible and 
subterfuges of no avail。 Rodney; too; was much in need 
of a confidant; Katharine; despite her promises of help; 
had failed him at the critical moment; she had gone off 
with Denham; she was; perhaps; tormenting Denham as 
she had tormented him。 How grave and stable he seemed; 
speaking little; and walking firmly; pared with what 
Rodney knew of his own torments and indecisions! He 
began to cast about for some way of telling the story of 
his relations with Katharine and Cassandra that would 
not lower him in Denham’s eyes。 It then occurred to him 

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Night and Day 

that; perhaps; Katharine herself had confided in Denham; 
they had something in mon; it was likely that they 
had discussed him that very afternoon。 The desire to discover 
what they had said of him now came uppermost in 
his mind。 He recalled Katharine’s laugh; he remembered 
that she had gone; laughing; to walk with Denham。 

“Did you stay long after we’d left?” he asked abruptly。 

“No。 We went back to my house。” 

This seemed to confirm Rodney’s belief that he had 
been discussed。 He turned over the unpalatable idea for 
a while; in silence。 

“Women are inprehensible creatures; Denham!” he 
then exclaimed。 

“Um;” said Denham; who seemed to himself possessed 
of plete understanding; not merely of women; but of 
the entire universe。 He could read Rodney; too; like a 
book。 He knew that he was unhappy; and he pitied him; 
and wished to help him。 

“You say something and they—fly into a passion。 Or 
for no reason at all; they laugh。 I take it that no amount 
of education will—” The remainder of the sentence was 

lost in the high wind; against which they had to struggle; 
but Denham understood that he referred to Katharine’s 
laughter; and that the memory of it was still hurting him。 
In parison with Rodney; Denham felt himself very 
secure; he saw Rodney as one of the lost birds dashed 
senseless against the glass; one of the flying bodies of 
which the air was full。 But he and Katharine were alone 
together; aloft; splendid; and luminous with a twofold 
radiance。 He pitied the unstable creature beside him; he 
felt a desire to protect him; exposed without the knowledge 
which made his own way so direct。 They were united 
as the adventurous are united; though one reaches the 
goal and the other perishes by the way。 

“You couldn’t laugh at some one you cared for。” 

This sentence; apparently addressed to no other human 
being; reached Denham’s ears。 The wind seemed to muffle 
it and fly away with it directly。 Had Rodney spoken those 
words? 

“You love her。” Was that his own voice; which seemed 
to sound in the air several yards in front of him? 

“I’ve suffered tortures; Denham; tortures!” 

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Virginia Woolf 

“Yes; yes; I know that。” 

“She’s laughed at me。” 

“Never—to me。” 

The wind blew a space between the words—blew them 
so far away that they seemed unspoken。 

“How I’ve loved her!” 

This was certainly spoken by the man at Denham’s side。 
The voice had all the marks of Rodney’s character; and 
recalled; with; strange vividness; his personal appearance。 
Denham could see him against the blank buildings 
and towers of the horizon。 He saw him dignified; exalted; 
and tragic; as he might have appeared thinking of 
Katharine alone in his rooms at night。 

“I am in love with Katharine myself。 That is why I am 
here tonight。” 

Ralph spoke distinctly and deliberately; as if Rodney’s 
confession had made this statement necessary。 

Rodney exclaimed something inarticulate。 

“Ah; I’ve always known it;” he cried; “I’ve known it 
from the first。 You’ll marry her!” 

The cry had a note of despair in it。 Again the wind 

intercepted their words。 They said no more。 At length 
they drew up beneath a lamppost; simultaneously。 

“My God; Denham; what fools we both are!” Rodney 
exclaimed。 They looked at each other; queerly; in the light 
of the lamp。 Fools! They seemed to confess to each other 
the extreme depths of their folly。 For the moment; under 
the lamppost; they seemed to be aware of some mon 
knowledge which did away with the possibility of 
rivalry; and made them feel more sympathy for each other 
than for any one else in the world。 Giving simultaneously 
a little nod; as if in confirmation of this understanding; 
they parted without speaking again。 

347 



Night and Day 

CHAPTER XXIX 


Between twelve and one that Sunday night Katharine lay 
in bed; not asleep; but in that twilight region where a 
detached and humorous view of our own lot is possible; 
or if we must be serious; our seriousness is tempered by 
the swift one of slumber and oblivion。 She saw the 
forms of Ralph; William; Cassandra; and herself; as if they 
were all equally unsubstantial; and; in putting off reality; 
had gained a kind of dignity which rested upon each 
impartially。 Thus rid of any unfortable warmth of partisanship 
or load of obligation; she was dropping off to 
sleep when a light tap sounded upon her door。 A moment 
later Cassandra stood beside her; holding a candle and 
speaking in the low tones proper to the time of night。 

“Are you awake; Katharine?” 

“Yes; I’m awake。 What is it?” 

She roused herself; sat up; and asked what in Heaven’s 
name Cassandra was doing? 

“I couldn’t sleep; and I thought I’d e and speak to 
you—only for a moment; though。 I’m going home to


morrow。” 

“Home? Why; what has happened?” 

“Something happened today which makes it impossible 
for me to stay here。” 

Cassandra spoke formally; almost solemnly; the announcement 
was clearly prepared and marked a crisis of 
the utmost gravity。 She continued what seemed to be 
part of a set speech。 

“I have decided to tell you the whole truth; Katharine。 
William allowed himself to behave in a way which made 
me extremely unfortable today。” 

Katharine seemed to waken pletely; and at once to 
be in control of herself。 

“At the
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