4 breaking dawn破晓- 第29部分

Oh。　His　story　hadn't　made　much　sense　before；　but　it　fit　together　now。　So　that's　what　Blondie　was　up　to。　



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What　was　in　it　for　her；　though？　Did　the　beauty　queen　want　Bella　to　die　so　bad？　

〃Maybe；〃　he　said。　〃Rosalie　doesn't　look　at　it　quite　that　way。〃　

〃So　take　the　blonde　out　first。　Your　kind　can　be　put　back　together；　right？　Turn　her　into　a　jigsaw　and　take　
care　of　Bella。〃　

〃Emmett　and　Esme　are　backing　her　up。　Emmett　would　never　let　us。。。　and　Carlisle　won't　help　me　with　
Esme　

against　it___〃　He　trailed　off；　his　voice　disappearing。　

〃You　should　have　left　Bella　with　me。〃　

〃Yes。〃　

It　was　a　bit　late　for　that；　though。　Maybe　he　should　have　thought　about　all　this　before　he　knocked　her　up　
with　the　lifesucking　monster。　

He　stared　up　at　me　from　inside　his　own　personal　hell；　and　I　could　see　that　he　agreed　with　me。　

〃We　didn't　know；〃　he　said；　the　words　as　quiet　as　a　breath。　〃I　never　dreamed。　There's　never　been　
anything　like　Bella　and　I　before。　How　could　we　know　that　a　human　was　able　conceive　a　child　with　one　of　
us—〃　

〃When　the　human　should　get　ripped　to　shreds　in　the　process？〃　

〃Yes；〃　he　agreed　in　a　tense　whisper。　〃They're　out　there；　the　sadistic　ones；　the　incubus；　the　succubus。　
They　exist。　But　the　seduction　is　merely　a　prelude　to　the　feast。　No　one　survives〃　He　shook　his　head　like　
the　idea　revolted　him。　Like　he　was　any　different。　

〃I　didn't　realize　they　had　a　special　name　for　what　you　are；〃　I　spit。　

He　stared　up　at　me　with　a　face　that　looked　a　thousand　years　old。　

〃Even　you；　Jacob　Black；　cannot　hate　me　as　much　as　I　hate　myself。'7　

Wrong；I　thought；　too　enraged　to　speak。　

〃Killing　me　now　doesn't　save　her；〃　he　said　quietly。　

〃So　what　does？〃　

〃Jacob；　you　have　to　do　something　for　me。〃　

〃The　hell　I　do；　parasite！〃　

He　kept　staring　at　me　with　those　halftired；　halfcrazy　eyes。　〃For　her？〃　

I　clenched　my　teeth　together　hard。　〃I　did　everything　I　could　to　keep　her　away　from　you。　Every　single　
thing。　It's　too　late。〃　



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〃You　know　her；　Jacob。　You　connect　to　her　on　a　level　that　I　don't　even　understand。　You　are　part　of　her；　
and　she　is　part　of　you。　She　won't　listen　to　me；　because　she　thinks　I'm　underestimating　her。　She　thinks　
she's　strong　enough　for　this___〃　He　choked　and　then　swallowed。　〃She　might　listen　to　you。〃　

〃Why　would　she？〃　

He　lurched　to　his　feet；　his　eyes　burning　brighter　than　before；　wilder。　I　wondered　if　he　was　really　going　
crazy。　Could　vampires　lose　their　minds？　

〃Maybe；〃　he　answered　my　thought。　〃I　don't　know。　It　feels　like　it。〃　He　shook　his　head。　〃I　have　to　try　to　
hide　this　in　front　of　her；　because　stress　makes　her　more　ill。　She　can't　keep　anything　down　as　it　is。　I　have　
to　be　posed；　I　can't　make　it　harder。　But　that　doesn't　matter　now。　She　has　to　listen　to　you！〃　

〃I　can't　tell　her　anything　you　haven't。　What　do　you　want　me　to　do？　Tell　her　she's　stupid？　She　probably　
already　knows　that。　Tell　her　she's　going　to　die？　I　bet　she　knows　that；　too。〃　

〃You　can　offer　her　what　she　wants。〃　

He　wasn't　making　any　sense。　Part　of　the　crazy？　

〃I　don't　care　about　anything　but　keeping　her　alive；〃　he　said；　suddenly　focused　now。　〃If　it's　a　child　she　
wants；　she　can　have　it。　She　can　have　half　a　dozen　babies。　Anything　she　wants。〃　He　paused　for　one　beat。　
〃She　can　have　puppies；　if　that's　what　it　takes。〃　

He　met　my　stare　for　a　moment　and　his　face　was　frenzied　under　the　thin　layer　of　control。　My　hard　scowl　
crumbled　as　I　processed　his　words；　and　I　felt　my　mouth　pop　open　in　shock。　

〃But　not　this　way！〃　he　hissed　before　I　could　recover。　〃Not　this　thing　that's　sucking　the　life　from　her　while　
I　stand　there　helpless！　Watching　her　sicken　and　waste　away。　Seeing　it　hurting　her。〃　He　sucked　in　a　fast　
breath　like　someone　had　punched　him　in　the　gut。　〃You　have　to　make　her　see　reason；　Jacob。　She　won't　
listen　to　me　anymore。　Rosalie's　always　there；　feeding　her　insanity—encouraging　her。　Protecting　her。　No；　
protecting　it　Bella's　life　means　nothing　to　her。〃　

The　noise　ing　from　my　throat　sounded　like　I　was　choking。　

What　was　he　saying？　That　Bella　should；　what？　Have　a　baby？　With　me？　What？　How？　Was　he　giving　her　
up？　Or　did　he　think　she　wouldn't　mind　being　shared？　

〃Whichever。　Whatever　keeps　her　alive。〃　

〃That'sthe　craziest　thing　you've　said　yet；〃　I　mumbled。　

〃She　loves　you。〃　

〃Not　enough。〃　

〃She's　ready　to　die　to　have　a　child。　Maybe　she'd　accept　something　less　extreme。〃　

〃Don't　you　know　her　at　all？〃　




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〃I　know；　I　know。It's　going　to　take　a　lot　of　convincing。　That's　why　I　need　you。　You　know　how　she　
thinks。　Make　hersee　sense。〃　

I　couldn't　think　about　what　he　was　suggesting。　It　was　too　much。　Impossible。　Wrong。　Sick。　Borrowing　
Bella　for　the　weekends　and　then　returning　her　Monday　morning　like　a　rental　movie？　So　messed　up。　

So　tempting。　

I　didn't　want　to　consider；　didn't　want　to　imagine；　but　the　images　came　anyway。　I'd　fantasized　about　Bella　
that　way　too　many　times；　back　when　there　was　still　a　possibility　of　us；　and　then　long　after　it　was　clear　that　
the　fantasies　would　only　leave　festering　sores　because　there　was　no　possibility；　none　at　all。　I　hadn't　been　
able　to　help　myself　then。　I　couldn't　stop　myself　now。　Bella　in　my　arms；　Bella　sighing　my　name。。。　

Worse　still；　this　new　image　I'd　never　had　before；　one　that　by　all　rights　shouldn't　have　existed　for　me。　Not　
yet。　An　image　I　knew　I　wouldn't've　suffered　over　for　years　if　he　hadn't　shoved　it　in　my　head　now。　But　it　
stuck　there；　winding　threads　through　my　brain　like　a　weed—poisonous　and　unkillable。　Bella；　healthy　and　
glowing；　so　different　than　now；　but　something　the　same：　her　body；　not　distorted；　changed　in　a　more　
natural　way。　Round　with　my　child。　

I　tried　to　escape　the　venomous　weed　in　my　mind。　〃Make　Bella　see　sense？　What　universe　do　you　live　
in？〃　

〃At　least　try。〃　

I　shook　my　head　fast。　He　waited；　ignoring　the　negative　answer　because　he　could　hear　the　conflict　in　my　
thoughts。　

〃Where　is　this　psycho　crap　ing　from？　Are　you　making　this　up　as　you　go？〃　

〃I've　been　thinking　of　nothing　but　ways　to　save　her　since　I　realized　what　she　was　planning　to　do。　What　
she　would　die　to　do。　But　I　didn't　know　how　to　contact　you。　I　knew　you　wouldn't　listen　if　I　called。　I　would　
have　e　to　find　you　soon；　if　you　hadn't　e　today。　But　it's　hard　to　leave　her；　even　for　a　few　minutes。　
Her　condition。。。　it　changes　so　fast。　The　thing　is。。。　growing。　Swiftly。　I　can't　be　away　from　her　now。〃　

〃What　is　it？〃　

〃None　of　us　have　any　idea。　But　it　is　stronger　than　she　is。　Already。〃　

I　could　suddenly　see　it　then—see　the　swelling　monster　in　my　head；　breaking　her　from　the　inside　out。　

〃Help　me　stop　it；〃　he　whispered。　〃Help　me　stop　this　from　happening。〃　

〃How？By　offering　my　stud　services？〃　He　didn't　even　flinch　when　I　said　that；　but　I　did。　〃You're　really　
sick。　She'll　never　listen　to　this。〃　

〃Try。　There's　nothing　to　lose　now。　How　will　it　hurt？〃　

It　would　hurt　me。　Hadn't　I　taken　enough　rejection　from　Bella　without　this？　

〃A　little　pain　to　save　her？　Is　it　such　a　high　cost？〃　




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〃But　it　won't　work。〃　

〃Maybe　not。　Maybe　it　will　confuse　her；　though。　Maybe　she'll　falter　in　her　resolve。　One　moment　of　doubt　
is　all　I　need。〃　

〃And　then　you　pull　the　rug　out　from　under　the　offer？　'Just　kidding；　Bella'？〃　

〃If　she　wants　a　child；　that's　what　she　gets。　I　won't　rescind。〃　

I　couldn't　believe　I　was　even　thinking　about　this。　Bella　would　punch　me—not　that　I　cared　about　that；　but　
it　would　probably　break　her　hand　again。　I　shouldn't　let　him　talk　to　me；　mess　with　my　head。　I　should　just　
kill　him　now。　

〃Not　now；〃　he　whispered。　〃Not　yet。　Right　or　wrong；　it　would　destroy　her；　and　you　know　it。　No　need　to　
be　hasty。　If　she　won't　listen　to　you；　you'll　get　your　chance。　The　moment　Bella's　heart　stops　beating；　I　will　
be　begging　for　you　to　me。〃　

〃You　won't　have　to　beg　long。〃　

The　hint　of　a　worn　smile　tugged　at　the　corner　of　his　mouth。　〃I'm　very　much　counting　on　that。〃　

〃Then　we　have　a　deal。〃　

He　nodded　and　held　out　his　cold　stone　hand。　

Swallowing　my　disgust；　I　reached　out　to　take　his　hand。　My　fingers　closed　around　the　rock；　and　I　shook　
it　once。　

〃We　have　a　deal；〃　he　agreed。　

10。　WHY　DIDN'T　I　JUST　WALK　AWAY？　OH　RIGHT；　BECAUSE　I'M　AN　IDIOT。　

I　felt　like—like　I　don't　know　what。　Like　this　wasn't　real。　Like　I　was　in　some　Goth　version　of　a　bad　
sit。　Instead　of　being　the　AA　dweeb　about　to　ask　the　head　cheerleader　to　the　prom；　I　was　the　
finishedsecondplace　werewolf　about　to　ask　the　vampire's　wife　to　shack　up　and　procreate。　Nice。　

No；　I　wouldn't　do　it。　It　was　twisted　and　wrong。　I　was　going　to　forget　all　about　what　he'd　said。　

But　I　would　talk　to　her。　I'd　try　to　make　her　listen　to　me。　

And　she　wouldn't。　Just　like　always。　

Edward　didn't　answer　or　ment　on　my　thoughts　as　he　led　the　way　back　to　the　house。　I　wondered　
about　the　place　that　he'd　chosen　to　stop。　Was　it　far　enough　from　the　ho