4 breaking dawn破晓- 第37部分

Seth　was　feeling　guilty；　too。　Jake。。。　You're　not　really　gonna　send　me　away；　are　you？　Leah's　not　so　
bad。　Really。　I　mean；　with　her　here；　we　can　push　the　perimeter　out　farther。　And　this　puts　Sam　down　
to　seven。　There's　no　way　he's　going　to　mount　an　attack　that　outnumbered。　It's　probably　a　good　
thing。。。。　

You　know　I　don't　want　to　lead　a　pack；　Seth。　

So　don't　lead　us；Leah　offered。　

I　snorted。　Sounds　perfect　to　me。　Run　along　home　now。　

Jake；Seth　thought。　　belong　here。　I　do　like　vampires。　Cullens；　anyway。　They're　people　to　me；　and　
I'm　going　to　protect　them；　'cause　that's　what　we're　supposed　to　do。　

Maybe　you　belong；　kid；　but　your　sister　doesn't　And　she's　going　to　go　wherever　you　are—　

I　stopped　short；　because　I　saw　something　when　I　said　that。　Something　Leah　had　been　trying　not　to　think。　

Leah　wasn't　going　anywhere。　

Thought　this　was　about　Seth；I　thought　sourly。　

She　flinched。　Of　course　I'm　here　for　Seth。　

And　to　get　away　from　Sam。　

Her　jaw　clenched。　　don't　have　to　explain　myself　to　you。　I　just　have　to　do　what　I'm　told。　I　belong　to　
your　pack；　Jacob。　The　end。　

I　paced　away　from　her；　growling。　

Crap。　I　was　never　going　to　get　rid　of　her。　As　much　as　she　disliked　me；　as　much　as　she　loathed　the　
Cullens；　as　happy　as　she'd　be　to　go　kill　all　the　vampires　right　now；　as　much　as　it　pissed　her　off　to　have　to　
protect　them　instead—none　of　that　was　anything　pared　to　what　she　felt　being　free　of　Sam。　

Leah　didn't　like　me；　so　it　wasn't　such　a　chore　having　me　wish　she　would　disappear。　

She　loved　Sam。　Still。　And　having　him　wish　she　would　disappear　was　more　pain　than　she　was　willing　to　
live　with；　now　that　she　had　a　choice。　She　would　have　taken　any　other　option。　Even　if　it　meant　moving　in　
with　the　Cullens　as　their　lapdog。　

　don't　know　if　I'd　go　that　far；　she　thought。　She　tried　to　make　the　words　tough；　aggressive；　but　there　
were　big　cracks　in　her　show。　I'm　sure　I'd　give　killing　myself　a　few　good　tries　first。　

Look；　Leah。。。　

No；you　look；　Jacob。　Stop　arguing　with　me；　because　it's　not　going　to　do　any　good。　I'll　stay　out　of　



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your　way；　okay？　I'll　do　anything　you　want　Except　go　back　to　Sam's　pack　and　be　the　pathetic　
exgirlfriend　he　can't　get　away　from。　If　you　want　me　to　leave—she　sat　back　on　her　haunches　and　
stared　straight　into　my　eyes—　you're　going　to　have　tomake　me。　

I　snarled　for　a　long；　angry　minute。　I　was　beginning　to　feel　some　sympathy　for　Sam；　despite　what　he　had　
done　to　me；　to　Seth。　No　wonder　he　was　always　ordering　the　pack　around。　How　else　would　you　ever　get　
anything　done？　

Seth；　are　you　gonna　get　mad　at　me　if　I　kill　your　sister？　

He　pretended　to　think　about　it　for　a　minute。　Well。。。　yeah；　probably。　

I　sighed。　

Okay；　then；　Ms。　DoAnythingIWant　Why　don't　you　make　yourself　useful　by　telling　us　what　you　
know？　What　happened　after　we　left　last　night？　

Lots　of　howling。　But　you　probably　heard　that　part。　It　was　so　loud　that　it　took　us　a　while　to　figure　out　that　
we　couldn't　hear　either　of　you　anymore。　Sam　was。。。Words　failed　her；　but　we　could　see　it　in　our　head。　
Both　Seth　and　I　cringed。　After　that；　it　was　clear　pretty　quick　that　we　were　going　to　have　to　rethink　
things。　Sam　was　planning　to　talk　to　the　other　

Elders　first　thing　this　morning。　We　were　supposed　to　meet　up　and　figure　out　a　game　plan。　I　could　tell　he　
wasn't　going　to　mount　another　attack　right　away；　though。　Suicide　at　this　point；　with　you　and　Seth　AWOL　
and　the　bloodsuckers　forewarned。　I'm　not　sure　what　they'll　do；　but　I　wouldn't　be　wandering　the　forest　
alone　if　I　was　a　leech。　It's　open　season　on　vamps　now。　

You　decided　to　skip　the　meeting　this　morning？I　asked。　

When　we　split　up　for　patrols　last　night；　I　asked　permission　to　go　home；　to　tell　my　mother　what　had　
happened—　

Crap！　You　told　Mom？Seth　growled。　

Seth；　hold　off　on　the　sibling　stuff　for　a　sec。　Go　on；　Leah。　

So　once　I　was　human；　I　took　a　minute　to　think　things　through。　Well；　actually；　I　took　all　night。　I　bet　the　
others　think　I　fell　asleep。　But　the　whole　twoseparatepacks；　twoseparatepackminds　thing　gave　mea　
lot　to　sift　through。　In　the　end；　I　weighed　Seth's　safety　and　the；　er；　other　benefits　against　the　idea　of　
turning　traitor　and　sniffing　vampire　stink　for　who　knows　how　long。　You　know　what　I　decided。　I　
left　a　note　for　my　mom。　I　expect　we'll　hear　it　when　Sam　finds　out　。　。。　

Leah　cocked　an　ear　to　the　west。　

Yeah；　I　expect　we　will；I　agreed。　

So　that's　everything。　What　do　we　do　now？she　asked。　

She　and　Seth　both　looked　at　me　expectantly。　

This　was　exactly　the　kind　of　thing　I　didn't　want　to　have　to　do。　



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　guess　we　just　keep　an　eye　out　for　now。　That's　all　we　can　do。　You　should　probably　take　a　nap；　
Leah。　

You've　had　as　much　sleep　as　I　have。　

Thought　you　were　going　to　do　what　you　were　told？　

Right。　That's　going　to　get　old；she　grumbled；　and　then　she　yawned。　Well；　whatever。　I　don't　care。　

I'll　run　the　border；　Jake。　I'm　not　tired　at　all。Seth　was　so　glad　I　hadn't　forced　them　home；　he　was　all　but　
prancing　with　excitement。　

Sure；　sure。　I'm　going　to　go　check　in　with　the　Cullens。　

Seth　took　off　along　the　new　path　worn　into　the　damp　earth。　Leah　looked　after　him　thoughtfully。　

Maybe　a　round　or　two　before　I　crash。。。。　Hey　Seth；　wanna　see　how　many　times　I　can　lap　you？　

NO！　

Barking　out　a　low　chuckle；　Leah　lunged　into　the　woods　after　him。　

I　growled　uselessly。　So　much　for　peace　and　quiet。　

Leah　was　trying—for　Leah。　She　kept　her　jibes　to　a　minimum　as　she　raced　around　the　circuit；　but　it　was　
impossible　not　to　be　aware　of　her　smug　mood。　I　thought　of　the　whole　〃two's　pany〃　saying。　It　didn't　
really　apply；　because　one　was　plenty　to　my　mind。　But　if　there　had　to　be　three　of　us；　it　was　hard　to　think　
of　anyone　that　I　wouldn't　trade　her　for。　

Paul？she　suggested。　

Maybe；I　allowed。　

She　laughed　to　herself；　too　jittery　and　hyper　to　get　offended；　i　wondered　how　long　the　buzz　from　
dodging　Sam's　pity　would　last。　

That　will　be　my　goal　then—to　be　less　annoying　than　Paul。　

Yeah；　work　on　that　

I　changed　into　my　other　form　when　I　was　a　few　yards　from　the　lawn。　I　hadn't　been　planning　to　spend　
much　time　human　here。　But　I　hadn't　been　planning　to　have　Leah　in　my　head；　either。　I　pulled　on　my　ragged　
shorts　and　started　across　the　lawn。　

The　door　opened　before　I　got　to　the　steps；　and　I　was　surprised　to　see　Carlisle　rather　than　Edward　step　
outside　to　meet　me—his　face　looked　exhausted　and　defeated。　For　a　second；　my　heart　froze。　I　faltered　to　
a　stop；　unable　to　speak。　

〃Are　you　all　right；　Jacob？〃　Carlisle　asked。　




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〃Is　Bella？〃　I　choked　out。　

〃She's。。。　much　the　same　as　last　night。　Did　I　startle　you？　I'm　sorry。　Edward　said　you　were　ing　in　your　
human　form；　and　I　came　out　to　greet　you；　as　he　didn't　want　to　leave　her。　She's　awake。〃　

And　Edward　didn't　want　to　lose　any　time　with　her；　because　he　didn't　have　much　time　left。　Carlisle　didn't　
say　the　words　out　loud；　but　he　might　as　well　have。　

It　had　been　a　while　since　I'd　slept—since　before　my　last　patrol。　I　could　really　feel　that　now。　I　took　a　step　
forward；　sat　down　on　the　porch　steps；　and　slumped　against　the　railing。　

Moving　whisperquiet　as　only　a　vampire　could；　Carlisle　took　a　seat　on　the　same　step；　against　the　other　
railing。　

〃I　didn't　get　a　chance　to　thank　you　last　night；　Jacob。　You　don't　know　how　much　I　appreciate　your。。。　
passion。　I　know　your　goal　was　to　protect　Bella；　but　I　owe　you　the　safety　of　the　rest　of　my　family　as　
well。　Edward　told　me　what　you　had　to　do___〃　

〃Don't　mention　it；〃　I　muttered。　

〃If　you　prefer。〃　

We　sat　in　silence。　I　could　hear　the　others　in　the　house。　Emmett；　Alice；　and　Jasper；　speaking　in　low；　
serious　voices　upstairs。　Esme　humming　tunelessly　in　another　room。　Rosalie　and　Edward　breathing　close　
by—I　couldn't　tell　which　was　which；　but　I　could　hear　the　difference　in　Bella's　labored　panting。　I　could　
hear　her　heart；　too。　It　seemed。。。　uneven。　

It　was　like　fate　was　out　to　make　me　do　everything　I'd　ever　sworn　I　wouldn't　in　the　course　of　twentyfour　
hours。　Here　I　was；　hanging　around；　waiting　for　her　to　die。　

I　didn't　want　to　listen　anymore。　Talking　was　better　than　listening。　

〃She's　family　to　you？〃　I　asked　Carlisle。　It　had　caught　my　notice　before；　when　he'd　said　I'd　helped　the　
rest　of　his　family；　too。　

〃Yes。　Bella　is　already　a　daughter　to　me。　A　beloved　daughter。〃　

〃But　you're　going　to　let　her　die。〃　

He　was　quiet　long　enough　that　I　looked　up。　His　face　was　very；　very　tired。　I　knew　how　he　felt。　

〃I　can　imagine　what　you　think　of　me　for　that；〃　he　finally　said。　〃But　i　can't　ignore　her　will。　It　wouldn't　be　
right　to　make　such　a　choice　for　her；　to　force　her。〃　

I　wanted　to　be　angry　with　him；　but　he　was　making　it　hard。　It　was　like　he　was　throwing　my　own　words　
back　at　me；　just　scrambled　up。　They'd　sounded　right　before；　but　they　couldn't　be　right　now。　Not　with　
Bella　dying。　Still。。。　I　remembered　how　it　felt　to　be　broken　on　the　ground　under　Sam—to　have　no　choice　
but　be　involved