the way back。 Leah was pretty
hungry。
Yum； yum；she thought sourly。
It's all in your head；I told her。 That's the way wolves eat。 It's natural。 It tastes fine。 If you didn't
think about it from a human perspective—
Forget the pep talk； Jacob。 I'll hunt I don't have to like it
Sure； sure；I agreed easily。 It wasn't my business if she wanted to make things harder for herself。
She didn't add anything for a few minutes； I started thinking about turning back。
Thank you；Leah suddenly told me in a much different tone。
For？
For letting me be。 For letting me stay。 You've been nicer than I had any right to expect； Jacob。
Er； no problem。 Actually； I mean that。 I don't mind having you here like I thought I would。
She snorted； but it was a playful sound。 What a glowing mendation！
Don't let it go to your head。
Okay— if you don't let this go to yours。She paused for a second。 think you make a good Alpha。
Not in the same way Sam does； but in your own way。 You're worth following； Jacob。
My mind went blank with surprise。 It took me a second to recover enough to respond。
Er； thanks。 Not totally sure I'll be able to stop that one from going to my head； though。 Where did that
e from？
She didn't answer right away； and I followed the wordless direction of her thoughts。 She was thinking
about the future—about what I'd said to Jared the other morning。 About how the time would be up soon；
and then I'd go back to the forest。 About how I'd promised that she and Seth would return to the pack
when the Cullens were gone___
want to stay with you； she told me。
The shock shot through my legs； locking my joints。 She blew past me and then put on the brakes。
Slowly； she walked back to where I was frozen in place。
won't be a pain； I swear。 I won't follow you around。 You can go wherever you want； and I'll go
where I want。 You'll only have to put up with me when we're both wolves。 She paced back and forth
in front of me； swishing her long gray tail nervously。 And； as I'm planning on quitting as soon as I can
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manage it。。。 maybe that won't be so often。
I didn't know what to say。
I'm happier now； as a part of your pack； than I have been in years。
I want to stay； too；Seth thought quietly。 I hadn't realized he'd been paying much attention to us as he ran
the perimeter。 like this pack。
Hey； now！ Seth； this isn't going to be a pack much longer。I tried to put my thoughts together so they
would convince him。 We've got a purpose now； but when。。。 after that's over； I'm just going to go
wolf。 Seth； you need a purpose。 You're a good kid。 You're the kind of person who always has a
crusade。 And there's no way you're leaving La Push now。 You're going to graduate from high
school and do something with your life。 You're going to take care of Sue。
My issues are not going to mess up your future。
But —
Jacob is rightLeah seconded。
You're agreeing with me？
Of course。 But none of that applies tome。 was on my way out anyway。 I'll get a job somewhere
away from La Push。 Maybe take some courses at a munity college。 Get into yoga and
meditation to work on my temper issues。。。。 And stay a part of this pack for the sake of my mental
wellbeing。 Jacob— you can see how that makes sense； right？ I won't bother you； you won't
bother me； everyone is happy。
I turned back and started loping slowly toward the west。
This is a bit much to deal with； Leah。 Let me think about it； 'kay？
Sure。 Take your time。
It took us longer to make the run back。 I wasn't trying for speed。 I was just trying to concentrate enough
that I wouldn't plow headfirst into a tree。 Seth was grumbling a little bit in the back of my head； but I was
able to ignore him。 He knew I was right。 He wasn't going to abandon his mom。 He would go back to La
Push and protect the tribe like he should。
But I couldn't see Leah doing that。 And that was just plain scary。
A pack of the two of us？ No matter the physical distance； I couldn't imagine the。。。 the intimacy of that
situation。 I wondered if she'd really thought it through； or if she was just desperate to stay free。
Leah didn't say anything as I chewed it over。 It was like she was trying to prove how easy it would be if
it was just us。
We ran into a herd of blacktailed deer just as the sun was ing up； brightening the clouds a little bit
behind us。 Leah sighed internally but didn't hesitate。 Her lunge was clean and efficient—graceful； even。
She took down the largest one； the buck； before the startled animal fully understood the danger。
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Not to be outdone； I swooped down on the next largest deer； snapping her neck between my jaws
quickly； so she wouldn't feel unnecessary pain。 I could feel Leah's disgust warring with her hunger； and I
tried to make it easier for her by letting the wolf in me have my head。 I'd lived allwolf for long enough
that I knew how to be the animal pletely； to see his way and think his way。 I let the practical instincts
take over； letting her feel that； too。 She hesitated for a second； but then； tentatively； she seemed to reach
out with her mind and try to see my way。 It felt very strange—our minds were more closely linked than
they had ever been before； because we both were trying to think together。
Strange； but it helped her。 Her teeth cut through the fur and skin of her kill's shoulder； tearing away a
thick slab of streaming flesh。 Rather than wince away as her human thoughts wanted to； she let her
wolfself react instinctively。 It was kind of a numbing thing； a thoughtless thing。 It let her eat in peace。
It was easy for me to do the same。 And I was glad I hadn't forgotten this。 This would be my life again
soon。
Was Leah going to be a part of that life？ A week ago； I wouldve found that idea beyond horrifying。 I
wouldn't've
been able to stand it。 But I knew her better now。 And； relieved from the constant pain； she wasn't the
same wolf。 Not the same girl。
We ate together until we both were full。
Thanks；she told me later as she was cleaning her muzzle and paws against the wet grass。 I didn't bother；
it had just started to drizzle and we had to swim the river again on our way back。 I'd get clean enough。
That wasn't so bad； thinking your way。
You're wele。
Seth was dragging when we hit the perimeter。 I told him to get some sleep； Leah and I would take over
the patrol。 Seth's mind faded into unconsciousness just seconds later。
You headed back to the bloodsuckers？Leah asked。
Maybe。
It's hard for you to be there； but hard to stay away； too。 I know how that feels。
You know； Leah； you might want to think a little bit about the future； about what you really want to do。
My head is not going to be the happiest place on earth。 And you'll have to suffer right along with me。
She thought about how to answer me。 Wow； this is going to sound bad。 But； honestly； it will be
easier to deal with your pain than face mine。
Fair enough。
I know it's going to be bad for you； Jacob。 I understand that— maybe better than you think。 I don't
like her； but。。。 she's your Sam。 She's everything you want and everything you can't have。
I couldn't answer。
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know it's worse for you。 At least Sam is happy。 At least he's alive and well。 I love him enough
that I want that。 I want him to have what's best for him。 She sighed。 I just don't want to stick
around to watch。
Do we need to talk about this？
I think we do。 Because I want you to know that I won't make it worse for you。 Hell； maybe I'll even
help。 I wasn'tborn a passionless shrew。 I used to be sort of nice； you know。
My memory doesn't go that far back。
We both laughed once。
I'm sorry about this； Jacob。 I'm sorry you're in pain。 I'm sorry it's getting worse and not better
Thanks； Leah。
She thought about the things that were worse； the black pictures in my head； while I tried to tune her out
without much success。 She was able to look at them with some distance； some perspective； and I had to
admit that this was helpful。 I could imagine that maybe I would be able to see it that way； too； in a few
years。
She saw the funny side of the daily irritations that came from hanging out around vampires。 She liked my
ragging on Rosalie； chuckling internally and even running through a few blonde jokes in her mind that I
might be able
to work in。 But then her thoughts turned serious； lingering on Rosalie's face in a way that confused me。
You know what's crazy？she asked。
Well； almost everything is crazy right now。 But what do you mean？
That blond vampire you hate so much— totally get her perspective。
For a second I thought she was making a joke that was in very poor taste。 And then； when I realized she
was serious； the fury that ripped through me was hard to control。 It was a good thing we'd spread out to
run our watch。 If she'd been wit