run our watch。 If she'd been within biting distance。。。
Hold up！ Let me explain！
Don't want to hear it I'm outta here。
Wait！ Wait！she pleaded as I tried to calm myself enough to phase back。 C'mon； Jake！
Leah； this isn't really the best way to convince me that I want to spend more time with you in the future。
Yeesh！ What an overreaction。 You don't even know what I'm talking about
So whatare you talking about？
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And then she was suddenly the painhardened Leah from before。 I'm talking about being a geic
dead end； Jacob。
The vicious edge to her words left me floundering。 I hadn't expected to have my anger trumped。
I don't understand。
Youwould； if you weren't just like the rest of them。 If my 〃female sfuT—she thought the words with
a hard； sarcastic tone— didn't send you running for cover just like any stupid male； so you could
actually pay attention to what it all means。
Oh。
Yeah； so none of us like to think about that stuff with her。 Who would？ Of course I remembered Leah's
panic that first month after she joined the pack—and I remembered cringing away from it just like
everyone else。 Because she couldn't be pregnant— not unless there was some really freaky religious
immaculate crap going on。 She hadn't been with anyone since Sam。 And then； when the weeks dragged
on and nothing turned into more nothing； she'd realized that her body wasn't following the normal patterns
anymore。 The horror—what was she now？ Had her body changed because she'd bee a werewolf？
Or had she bee a werewolf because her body was wrong？ The only female werewolf in the history
of forever。 Was that because she wasn't as female as she should be？
None of us had wanted to deal with that breakdown。 Obviously； it wasn't like we could empathize。
You know why Sam thinks we imprint；she thought； calmer now。
Sure。 To carry on the line。
Right。 To make a bunch of new little werewolves。 Survival of the species； geic override。 You're
drawn to the person who gives you the best chance to pass on the wolf gene。
I waited for her to tell me where she was qoinq with this。
If I was any good for that； Sam would have been drawn tome。
Her pain was enough that I broke stride under it。
But I'm not There's something wrong with me。 I don't have the ability to pass on the gene； apparently；
despite my stellar bloodlines。 So I bee a freak— the girliewolf—good for nothing else。 I'm a
geic dead end and we both know it。
We do not；I argued with her。 That's just Sam's theory。 Imprinting happens； but we don't know why。
Billy thinks it's something else。
I know； I know。 He thinks you're imprinting to makestronger wolves。 Because you and Sam are such
humongous monsters— bigger than our fathers。 But either way； I'm still not a candidate。 I'm。。。 I'm
menopausal。 I'm twenty years old and I'm menopausal。
Ugh。 I so didn't want to have this conversation。 You don't know that； Leah。 It's probably just the
whole frozenintime thing。 When you quit your wolf and start getting older again； I'm sure things
will。。。 er。。。 pick right back up。
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might think that— except that no one's imprinting onme； notwithstanding my impressive
pedigree。 You know； she added thoughtfully； if you weren't around； Seth would probably have the
best claim to being Alpha — through his blood； at least。 Of course； no one would ever consider
me。。。。
You reallywant to imprint； or be imprinted on； or whichever？ I demanded。 What's wrong with
going out and falling in love like a normal person； Leah？ Imprinting is just another way of getting
your choices taken away from you。
Sam； Jared； Paul； Quit。。。 they don't seem to mind。
None of themhave a mind of their own。
You don't want to imprint？
Hell； no！
That's just because you're already in love withher。 That would go away； you know； if you imprinted。
You wouldn't have to hurt over her anymore。
Do you want to forget the way you feel about Sam？
She deliberated for a moment。 think I do。
I sighed。 She was in a healthier place than I was。
But back to my original point； Jacob。 I understand why your blond vampire is so cold— in the
figurative sense。 She's focused。 She's got her eyes on the prize； right？ Because you always want
the very most what you can never； ever have。
You would act like Rosalie？ You would murder someone— because that's what she's doing；
making sure no one interferes with Bella's death— you would do that to have a baby？ Since when
are you a breeder？
I just want the options I don't have； Jacob。 Maybe； if there was nothing wrong with me； I would never
give it a thought。
You would kill for that？I demanded； not letting her escape my question。
That's not what she's doing。 I think it's more like she's living vicariously。 And。。。 if Bella askedme to help
her with
this。。。She paused； considering。 Even though I don't think too much of her； I'd probably do the same
as the bloodsucker。
A loud snarl ripped through my teeth。
Because； if it was turned around； I'd want Bella to do that for me。 And so would Rosalie。 We'd both do
it her way。
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Ugh！ You're as bad as they are！
That's the funny thing about knowing you can't have something。 It makes you desperate。
And。。 。 that's my limit Right there。 This conversation is over。
Fine。
It wasn't enough that she'd agreed to stop。 I wanted a stronger termination than that。
I was only about a mile from where I'd left my clothes； so I phased back to human and walked。 I didn't
think about our conversation。 Not because there wasn't anything to think about； but because I couldn't
stand it。 I would not see it that way—but it was harder to keep from doing that when Leah had put the
thoughts and emotions straight into my head。
Yeah； I wasn't running with her when this was finished。 She could go be miserable in La Push。 One little
Alpha mand before I left for good wasn't going to kill anybody。
It was real early when I got to the house。 Bella was probably still asleep。 I figured I'd poke my head in；
see what was going on； give 'em the green light to go hunting； and then find a patch of grass soft enough
to sleep on while human。 I wasn't phasing back until Leah was asleep。
But there was a lot of low mumbling going on inside the house； so maybe Bella wasn't sleeping。 And then
I heard the machinery sound from upstairs again—the Xray？ Great。 It looked like day four on the
countdown was starting off with a bang。
Alice opened the door for me before I could walk in。
She nodded。 〃Hey； wolf。〃
〃Hey； shortie。 What's going on upstairs？〃 The big room was empty—all the murmurs were on the
second floor。
She shrugged her pointy little shoulders。 〃Maybe another break。〃 She tried to say the words casually； but
I could see the flames in the very back of her eyes。 Edward and I weren't the only ones who were
burning over this。 Alice loved Bella； too。
〃Another rib？〃 I asked hoarsely。
〃No。 Pelvis this time。〃
Funny how it kept hitting me； like each new thing was a surprise。 When was I going to stop being
surprised？ Each new disaster seemed kinda obvious in hindsight。
Alice was staring at my hands； watching them tremble。
Then we were listening to Rosalie's voice upstairs。
〃See； I told you I didn't hear a crack。 You need your ears checked； Edward。〃
There was no answer。
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Alice made a face。 〃Edward's going to end up ripping Rose into small pieces； I think。 I'm surprised she
doesn't see that。 Or maybe she thinks Emmett will be able to stop him。〃
〃I'll take Emmett；〃 I offered。 〃You can help Edward with the ripping part。〃
Alice halfsmiled。
The procession came down the stairs then—Edward had Bella this time。 She was gripping her cup of
blood in both hands； and her face was white。 I could see that； though he pensated for every tiny
movement of his body to keep from jostling her； she was hurting。
〃Jake；〃 she whispered； and she smiled through the pain。
I stared at her； saying nothing。
Edward placed Bella carefully on her couch and sat on the floor by her head。 I wondered briefly why
they didn't leave her upstairs； and then decided at once that it must be Bella's idea。 She'd want to act like
things were normal； avoid the hospital setup。 And he was humoring her。 Naturally。
Carlisle came down slowly； the last one； his face creased with worry。 It made him look old enough to be
a doctor for once。
〃Carlisle；〃 I said。 〃We went halfway to Seattle。 There's no sign of the pack。 You're good to go。〃
〃Thank you； Jacob。 This is good timing。 There's much that we need。〃 His black eyes flickered to the cup
that Bella was holding so tight。
〃Honestly； I think you're safe to take more than three。 I'm pretty positive that Sam is concentrating on La
Push。〃
Carlisle nod