life preserver。 He was helping me find the escape I was dying for。
The object in my hand was a set of car keys。
17。 WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE？ THE WIZARD OF OZ？ YOU NEED A BRAIN？ YOU NEED A
HEART？ GO AHEAD。 TAKE MINE。 TAKE EVERYTHING I HAVE。
I sort of had a plan as I ran to the Cullens' garage。 The second part of it was totaling the bloodsucker's
car on my way back。
So I was at a loss when I mashed the button on the keyless remote； and it was not his Volvo that
beeped and flashed its lights for me。 It was another car—a standout even in the long line of vehicles that
were mostly all droolworthy in their own ways。
Did he actually mean to give me the keys to an Aston Martin Vanquish； or was that an accident？
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I didn't pause to think about it； or if this would change that second part of my plan。 I just threw myself
into the silky leather seat and cranked the engine while my knees were still crunched up under the steering
wheel。 The sound of the motor's purr might have made me moan another day； but right now it was all I
could do to concentrate enough to put it in drive。
I found the seat release and shoved myself back as my foot rammed the pedal down。 The car felt almost
airborne as it leaped forward。
It only took seconds to race through the tight； winding drive。 The car responded to me like my thoughts
were steering rather than my hands。 As I blew out of the green tunnel and onto the highway； I caught a
fleeting glimpse of Leah's gray face peering uneasily through the ferns。
For half a second； I wondered what she'd think； and then I realized that I didn't care。
I turned south； because I had no patience today for ferries or traffic or anything else that meant I might
have to lift my foot off the pedal。
In a sick way； it was my lucky day。 If by lucky you meant taking a welltraveled highway at two hundred
without so much as seeing one cop； even in the thirtymileanhour speedtrap towns。 What a letdown。 A
little chase action
might have been nice； not to mention that the license plate info would bring the heat down on the leech。
Sure； he'd buy his way out of it； but it might have been just a little inconvenient for him。
The only sign of surveillance i came across was just a hint of dark brown fur flitting through the woods；
running parallel to me for a few miles on the south side of Forks。 Quil； it looked like。 He must have seen
me； too； because he disappeared after a minute without raising an alarm。 Again； I almost wondered what
his story would be before I remembered that I didn't care。
I raced around the long Ushaped highway； heading for the biggest city I could find。 That was the first
part of my plan。
It seemed to take forever； probably because I was still on the razor blades； but it actually didn't even
take two hours before I was driving north into the undefined sprawl that was part Taa and part
Seattle。 I slowed down then； because I really wasn't trying to kill any innocent bystanders。
This was a stupid plan。 It wasn't going to work。 But； as I'd searched my head for any way at all to get
away from the pain； what Leah'd said today had popped in there。
That would go away； you know； if you imprinted。 You wouldn't have to hurt over her anymore。
Seemed like maybe getting your choices taken away from you wasn't the very worst thing in the world。
Maybe feeling like this was the very worst thing in the world。
But I'd seen all the girls in La Push and up on the Makah rez and in Forks。 I needed a wider hunting
range。
So how do you look for a random soul mate in a crowd？ Well； first； I needed a crowd。 So I tooled
around； looking for a likely spot。 I passed a couple of malls； which probably would've been pretty good
places to find girls my age； but I couldn't make myself stop。 Did I want to imprint on some girl who hung
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out in a mall all day？
I kept going north； and it got more and more crowded。 Eventually； I found a big park full of kids and
families and skateboards and bikes and kites and piics and the whole bit。 I hadn't noticed till now—it
was a nice day。 Sun and all that。 People were out celebrating the blue sky。
I parked across two handicapped spots—just begging for a ticket—and joined the crowd。
I walked around for what felt like hours。 Long enough that the sun changed sides in the sky。 I stared into
the face of every girl who passed anywhere near me； making myself really look； noticing who was pretty
and who had blue eyes and who looked good in braces and who had way too much makeup on。 I tried
to find something interesting about each face； so that I would know for sure that I'd really tried。 Things
like： This one had a really straight nose； that one should pull her hair out of her eyes； this one could do
lipstick ads if the rest of her face was as perfect as her mouth___
Sometimes they stared back。 Sometimes they looked scared—like they were thinking； Who is this big
freak glaring at me？ Sometimes I thought they looked kind of interested； but maybe that was just my
ego running wild。
Either way； nothing。 Even when I met the eyes of the girl who was—no contest—the hottest girl in the
park and probably in the city； and she stared right back with a speculation that looked like interest； I felt
nothing。 Just the same desperate drive to find a way out of the pain。
As time went on； I started noticing all the wrong things。 Bella things。 This one's hair was the same color。
That one's eyes were sort of shaped the same。 This one's cheekbones cut across her face in just the same
way。 That one had the same little crease between her eyes—which made me wonder what she was
worrying about___
That was when I gave up。 Because it was beyond stupid to think that I had picked exactly the right place
and time and I was going to simply walk into my soul mate just because I was so desperate to。
It wouldn't make sense to find her here； anyway。 If Sam was right； the best place to find my geic
match would be in La Push。 And； clearly； no one there fit the bill。 If Billy was right； then who knew？
What made for a stronger wolf？
I wandered back to the car and then slumped against the hood and played with the keys。
Maybe I was what Leah thought she was。 Some kind of dead end that shouldn't be passed on to
another generation。 Or maybe it was just that my life was a big； cruel joke； and there was no escape from
the punch line。
〃Hey； you okay？ Hello？ You there； with the stolen car。〃
It took me a second to realize that the voice was talking to me； and then another second to decide to
raise my head。
A familiarlooking girl was staring at me； her expression kind of anxious。 I knew why I recognized her
face—I'd already catalogued this one。 Light redgold hair； fair skin； a few goldcolored freckles
sprinkled across her cheeks and nose； and eyes the color of cinnamon。
〃If you're feeling that remorseful over boosting the car；〃 she said； smiling so that a dimple popped out in
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her chin； 〃you could always turn yourself in。〃
〃It's borrowed； not stolen；〃 I snapped。 My voice sounded horrible—like I'd been crying or something。
Embarrassing。
〃Sure； thatW hold up in court。〃
I glowered。 〃You need something？〃
〃Not really。 I was kidding about the car； you know。 It's just that。。。 you look really upset about
something。 Oh； hey； I'm Lizzie。〃 She held out her hand。
I looked at it until she let it fall。
〃Anyway。。。；〃 she said awkwardly； 〃I was just wondering if I could help。 Seemed like you were looking
for someone before。〃 She gestured toward the park and shrugged。
〃Yeah。〃
She waited。
I sighed。 〃I don't need any help。 She's not here。〃
〃Oh。 Sorry。〃
〃Me； too；〃 I muttered。
I looked at the girl again。 Lizzie。 She was pretty。 Nice enough to try to help a grouchy stranger who must
seem nuts。 Why couldn't she be the one？ Why did everything have to be so freaking plicated？ Nice
girl； pretty； and sort of funny。 Why not？
〃This is a beautiful car；〃 she said。 〃It's really a shame they're not making them anymore。 I mean； the
Vantage's body styling is gorgeous； too； but there's just something about the Vanquish___〃
Nice girl who knew cars。 Wow。 I stared at her face harder； wishing I knew how to make it work。
C'mon； Jake— imprint already。
〃How's it drive？〃 she asked。
〃Like you wouldn't believe；〃 I told her。
She grinned her onedimple smile； clearly pleased to have dragged a halfway civil response out of me；
and I gave her a reluctant smile back。
But her smile did nothing about the sharp； cutting blades that raked up and down my body。 No matter
how much I wanted it to； my life was not going to e together like that。
I wasn't in that healthier place where Leah was headed。 I wasn't going to be able to fall in love like a
normal person。 Not when I was bleeding over someone else。 Maybe—if it was ten years from now