4 breaking dawn破晓- 第84部分

27。　TRAVEL　PLANS　

i　took　mythology　a　lot　more　seriously　since　I'd　bee　a　vampire。　

Often；　when　I　looked　back　over　my　first　three　months　as　an　immortal；　I　imagined　how　the　thread　of　my　
life　might　look　in　the　Fates'　loom—who　knew　but　that　it　actually　existed？　I　was　sure　my　thread　must　have　
changed　color；　I　thought　it　had　probably　started　out　as　a　nice　beige；　something　supportive　and　
nonconfrontational；　something　that　would　look　good　in　the　background。　Now　it　felt　like　it　must　be　bright　
crimson；　or　maybe　glistening　gold。　

The　tapestry　of　family　and　friends　that　wove　together　around　me　was　a　beautiful；　glowing　thing；　full　of　
their　bright；　plementary　colors。　

I　was　surprised　by　some　of　the　threads　I　got　to　include　in　my　life。　The　werewolves；　with　their　deep；　
woodsy　colors；　were　not　something　I'd　expected；　Jacob；　of　course；　and　Seth；　too。　But　my　old　friends　
Quil　and　Embry　became　part　of　the　fabric　as　they　joined　Jacob's　pack；　and　even　Sam　and　Emily　were　
cordial。　The　tensions　between　our　families　eased；　mostly　due　to　Renesmee。　She　was　easy　to　love。　

Sue　and　Leah　Clearwater　were　interlaced　into　our　life；　too—two　more　I　had　not　anticipated。　

Sue　seemed　to　have　taken　it　on　herself　to　smooth　Charlie's　transition　into　the　world　of　makebelieve。　
She　came　with　him　to　the　Cullens'　most　days；　though　she　never　seemed　truly　fortable　here　the　way　
her　son　and　most　of　Jake's　pack　did。　She　did　not　speak　often；　she　just　hovered　protectively　near　Charlie。　
She　was　always　the　first　person　he　looked　to　when　Renesmee　did　something　disturbingly　advanced　
—which　was　often。　In　answer；　Sue　would　eye　Seth　meaningfully　as　if　to　say；　Yeah；　tell　me　about　it。　

Leah　was　even　less　fortable　than　Sue　and　was　the　only　part　of　our　recently　extended　family　who　
was　openly　hostile　to　the　merger。　However；　she　and　Jacob　had　a　new　camaraderie　that　kept　her　close　to　
us　all。　I　asked　him　about　it　once—hesitantly；　I　didn't　want　to　pry；　but　the　relationship　was　so　different　
from　the　way　it　used　to　be　that　it　made　me　curious。　He　shrugged　and　told　me　it　was　a　pack　thing。　She　
was　his　secondinmand　now；　his　〃beta；〃　as　

I'd　called　it　once　long　ago。　

〃I　figured　as　long　as　I　was　going　to　do　this　Alpha　thing　for　real；〃　Jacob　explained；　〃I'd　better　nail　down　
the　formalities。〃　




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The　new　responsibility　made　Leah　feel　the　need　to　check　in　with　him　often；　and　since　he　was　always　with　
Renesmee。。。　

Leah　was　not　happy　to　be　near　us；　but　she　was　the　exception。　Happiness　was　the　main　ponent　in　my　
life　now；　the　dominant　pattern　in　the　tapestry。　So　much　so　that　my　relationship　with　Jasper　was　now　much　
closer　than　I'd　ever　dreamed　it　would　be。　

At　first　I　was　really　annoyed；　though。　

〃Yeesh！〃　I　plained　to　Edward　one　night　after　we'd　put　Renesmee　in　her　wroughtiron　crib。　〃If　I　
haven't　killed　Charlie　or　Sue　yet；　it's　probably　not　going　to　happen。　I　wish　Jasper　would　stop　hovering　all　
the　time！〃　

〃No　one　doubts　you；　Bella；　not　in　the　slightest；〃　he　assured　me。　〃You　know　how　Jasper　is—he　can't　
resist　a　good　emotional　climate。　You're　so　happy　all　the　time；　love；　he　gravitates　toward　you　without　
thinking。〃　

And　then　Edward　hugged　me　tightly；　because　nothing　pleased　him　more　than　my　overwhelming　ecstasy　
in　this　new　life。　

And　I　was　euphoric　the　vast　majority　of　the　time。　The　days　were　not　long　enough　for　me　to　get　my　fill　of　
adoring　my　daughter；　the　nights　did　not　have　enough　hours　to　satisfy　my　need　for　Edward。　

There　was　a　flipside　to　the　joy；　though。　If　you　turned　the　fabric　of　our　lives　over；　I　imagined　the　design　
on　the　backside　would　be　woven　in　the　bleak　grays　of　doubt　and　fear。　

Renesmee　spoke　her　first　word　when　she　was　exactly　one　week　old。　The　word　was　Momma；　which　
would　have　made　my　day；　except　that　I　was　so　frightened　by　her　progress　I　could　barely　force　my　frozen　
face　to　smile　back　at　her。　It　didn't　help　that　she　continued　from　her　first　word　to　her　first　sentence　in　the　
same　breath。　〃Momma；　where　is　Grandpa？〃　she'd　asked　in　a　clear；　high　soprano；　only　bothering　to　speak　
aloud　because　I　was　across　the　room　from　her。　She'd　already　asked　Rosalie；　using　her　normal　（or　
seriously　abnormal；　from　another　point　of　view）　means　of　munication。　Rosalie　hadn't　known　the　
answer；　so　Renesmee　had　turned　to　me。　

When　she　walked　for　the　first　time；　fewer　than　three　weeks　later；　it　was　similar。　She'd　simply　stared　at　
Alice　for　a　long　moment；　watching　intently　as　her　aunt　arranged　bouquets　in　the　vases　scattered　around　
the　room；　dancing　back　and　forth　across　the　floor　with　her　arms　full　of　flowers。　Renesmee　got　to　her　feet；　
not　in　the　least　bit　shaky；　and　crossed　the　floor　almost　as　gracefully。　

Jacob　had　burst　into　applause；　because　that　was　clearly　the　response　Renesmee　wanted。　The　way　he　
was　tied　to　her　made　his　own　reactions　secondary；　his　first　reflex　was　always　to　give　Renesmee　whatever　
she　needed。　But　our　eyes　met；　and　I　saw　all　the　panic　in　mine　echoed　in　his。　I　made　my　hands　clap　
together；　too；　trying　to　hide　my　fear　from　her。　Edward　applauded　quietly　at　my　side；　and　we　didn't　need　
to　speak　our　thoughts　to　know　they　were　the　same。　

Edward　and　Carlisle　threw　themselves　into　research；　looking　for　any　answers；　anything　to　expect。　There　
was　

very　little　to　be　found；　and　none　of　it　verifiable。　

Alice　and　Rosalie　usually　began　our　day　with　a　fashion　show。　Renesmee　never　wore　the　same　clothes　



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twice；　partly　because　she　outgrew　her　clothes　almost　immediately　and　partly　because　Alice　and　Rosalie　
were　trying　to　create　a　baby　album　that　appeared　to　span　years　rather　than　weeks。　They　took　thousands　
of　pictures；　documenting　every　phase　of　her　accelerated　childhood。　

At　three　months；　Renesmee　could　have　been　a　big　oneyearold；　or　a　small　twoyearold。　She　wasn't　
shaped　exactly　like　a　toddler；　she　was　leaner　and　more　graceful；　her　proportions　were　more　even；　like　an　
adult's。　Her　bronze　ringlets　hung　to　her　waist；　I　couldn't　bear　to　cut　them；　even　if　Alice　would　have　
allowed　it。　Renesmee　could　speak　with　flawless　grammar　and　articulation；　but　she　rarely　bothered；　
preferring　to　simply　show　people　what　she　wanted。　She　could　not　only　walk　but　run　and　dance。　She　
could　even　read。　

I'd　been　reading　Tennyson　to　her　one　night；　because　the　flow　and　rhythm　of　his　poetry　seemed　restful。　（I　
had　to　search　constantly　for　new　material；　Renesmee　didn't　like　repetition　in　her　bedtime　stories　as　other　
children　supposedly　did；　and　she　had　no　patience　for　picture　books。）　She　reached　up　to　touch　my　cheek；　
the　image　in　her　mind　one　of　us；　only　with　her　holding　the　book。　I　gave　it　to　her；　smiling。　

〃　There　is　sweet　music　here；'〃　she　read　without　hesitation；　〃'that　softer　falls　than　petals　from　blown　roses　
on　the　grass；　or　nightdews　on　still　waters　between　walls　of　shadowy　granite；　in　a　gleaming　pass—'〃　

My　hand　was　robotic　as　I　took　the　book　back。　

〃If　you　read；　how　will　you　fall　asleep？〃　I　asked　in　a　voice　that　had　barely　escaped　shaking。　

By　Carlisle's　calculations；　the　growth　of　her　body　was　gradually　slowing；　her　mind　continued　to　race　on　
ahead。　Even　if　the　rate　of　decrease　held　steady；　she'd　still　be　an　adult　in　no　more　than　four　years。　

Four　years。　And　an　old　woman　by　fifteen。　

Just　fifteen　years　of　life。　

But　she　was　so　healthy。　Vital；　bright；　glowing；　and　happy。　Her　conspicuous　wellbeing　made　it　easy　for　
me　to　be　happy　with　her　in　the　moment　and　leave　the　future　for　tomorrow。　

Carlisle　and　Edward　discussed　our　options　for　the　future　from　every　angle　in　low　voices　that　I　tried　not　
to　hear。　They　never　had　these　discussions　when　Jacob　was　around；　because　there　was　one　sure　way　to　
halt　aging；　and　that　wasn't　something　Jacob　was　likely　to　be　excited　about。　I　wasn't。　Too　dangerous！　my　
instincts　screamed　at　me。　Jacob　and　Renesmee　seemed　alike　in　so　many　ways；　both　halfandhalf　beings；　
two　things　at　the　same　time。　And　all　the　werewolf　lore　insisted　that　vampire　venom　was　a　death　sentence　
rather　than　a　course　to　immortality___　

Carlisle　and　Edward　had　exhausted　the　research　they　could　do　from　a　distance；　and　now　we　were　
preparing　to　follow　old　legends　at　their　source。　We　were　going　back　to　Brazil；　starting　there。　The　Ticunas　
had　legends　about　children　like　Renesmee。。。。　If　other　children　like　her　had　ever　existed；　perhaps　some　
tale　of　the　life　span　of　halfmortal　children　still　lingered___　

The　only　real　question　left　was　exactly　when　we　would　go。　

I　was　the　holdup。　A　small　part　of　it　was　that　I　wanted　to　stay　near　Forks　until　after　the　holidays；　for　
Charlie's　

sake。　But　more　than　that；　there　was　a　different　journey　that　I　knew　had　to　e　first—that　was　the　clear　



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priority。　Also；　it　had　to　be　a　solo　trip。　

This　was　the　only　argument　that　Edward　and　I　had　gotten　in　since　I'd　bee　a　vampire。　The　main　point　
of　contention　was　the　〃solo〃　part。　But　the　facts　were　what　they　were；　and　my　plan　was　the　only　one　that　
made　rational　sense。　I　had　to