scenery。〃
Renesmee frowned at him。
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〃No； I don't have to go anywhere；〃 he said to her。 Then he looked at Edward； his face stunned by the
realization that he might be wrong。 〃Do I？〃
Edward hesitated。
〃Spit it out；〃 Jacob said； his voice raw with tension。 He was right at his breaking point； just like the rest
of us。
〃The vampires who are ing to help us are not the same as we are；〃 Edward said。 〃Tanya's family is
the only one besides ours with a reverence for human life； and even they don't think much of werewolves。
I think it might be safer—〃
〃I can take care of myself；〃 Jacob interrupted。
〃Safer for Renesmee；〃 Edward continued； 〃if the choice to believe our story about her is not tainted by
an association with werewolves。〃
〃Some friends。 They'd turn on you just because of who you hang out with now？〃
〃I think they would mostly be tolerant under normal circumstances。 But you need to understand
—accepting Nessie will not be a simple thing for any of them。 Why make it even the slightest bit harder？〃
Carlisle had explained the laws about immortal children to Jacob last night。 〃The immortal children were
really that bad？〃 he asked。
〃You can't imagine the depth of the scars they've left in the collective vampire psyche。〃
〃Edward 。。。〃 It was still odd to hear Jacob use Edward's name without bitterness。
〃I know； Jake。 I know how hard it is to be away from her。 We'll play it by ear— see how they react to
her。 In any case； Nessie is going to have to be incognito off and on in the next few weeks。 She'll need to
stay at the cottage until the right moment for us to introduce her。 As long as you keep a safe distance
from the main house 。。。〃
〃I can do that。 pany in the morning； huh？〃
〃Yes。 The closest of our friends。 In this particular case； it's probably better if we get things out in the
open as soon as possible。 You can stay here。 Tanya knows about you。 She's even met Seth。〃
〃You should tell Sam what's going on。 There might be strangers in the woods soon。〃
〃Good point。 Though I owe him some silence after last night。〃
〃Listening to Alice is usually the right thing。〃
Jacob's teeth ground together； and I could see that he shared Sam's feelings about what Alice and
Jasper had done。
While they were talking； I wandered toward the back windows； trying to look distracted and anxious。
Not a difficult thing to do。 I leaned my head against the wall that curved away from the living room
toward the dining room； right next to one of the puter desks。 I ran my fingers against the keys while
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staring into the forest； trying to make it look like an absentminded thing。 Did vampires ever do things
absentmindedly？ I didn't think anyone was paying particular attention to me； but I didn't turn to make
sure。 The monitor glowed to life。 I stroked my fingers across the keys again。 Then I drummed them very
quietly on the wooden desktop； just to make it seem random。 Another stroke across the keys。
I scanned the screen in my peripheral vision。
No J。 Jenks； but there was a Jason Jenks。 A lawyer。 I brushed the keyboard； trying to keep a rhythm；
like the preoccupied stroking of a cat you'd all but forgotten on your lap。 Jason Jenks had a fancy
website for his firm； but the address on the homepage was wrong。 In Seattle； but in a different zip code。 I
noted the phone number and then stroked the keyboard in rhythm。 This time I searched the address； but
nothing at all came up； as if the address didn't exist。 I wanted to look at a map； but I decided I was
pushing my luck。 One more brush； to delete the history___
I continued staring out the window and brushed the wood a few times。 I heard light footsteps crossing
the floor to me； and I turned with what I hoped was the same expression as before。
Renesmee reached for me； and I held my arms open。 She launched herself into them； smelling strongly of
werewolf； and nestled her head against my neck。
I didn't know if I could stand this。 As much as I feared for my life； for Edward's； for the rest of my
family's； it was not the same as the gutwrenching terror I felt for my daughter。 There had to be a way to
save her； even if that was the only thing I could do。
Suddenly； I knew that this was all I wanted anymore。 The rest I would bear if I had to； but not her life
being forfeited。 Not that。
She was the one thing I simply had to save。
Would Alice have known how I would feel？
Renesmee's hand touched my cheek lightly。
She showed me my own face； Edward's； Jacob's； Rosalie's； Esme's； Carlisle's； Alice's； Jasper's； flipping
through all our family's faces faster and faster。 Seth and Leah。 Charlie； Sue； and Billy。 Over and over
again。 Worrying； like the rest of us were。 She was only worrying； though。 Jake had kept the worst from
her as far as I could tell。 The part about how we had no hope； how we all were going to die in a month's
time。
She settled on Alice's face； longing and confused。 Where was Alice？
〃I don't know；〃 I whispered。 〃But she's Alice。 She's doing the right thing； like always。〃
The right thing for Alice； anyway。 I hated thinking of her that way； but how else could the situation be
understood？
Renesmee sighed； and the longing intensified。
〃I miss her； too。〃
I felt my face working； trying to find the expression that went with the grief inside。 My eyes felt strange
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and dry； they blinked against the unfortable feeling。 I bit my lip。 When I took my next breath； the air
hitched in my throat； like I was choking on it。
Renesmee pulled back to look at me； and I saw my face mirrored in her thoughts and in her eyes。 I
looked like Esme had this morning。
So this was what it felt like to cry。
Renesmee's eyes glistened wetly as she watched my face。 She stroked my face； showing me nothing；
just trying to soothe me。
I'd never thought to see the motherdaughter bond reversed between us； the way it had always been for
Renee and me。 But I hadn't had a very clear view of the future。
A tear welled up on the edge of Renesmee's eye。 I wiped it away with a kiss。 She touched her eye in
amazement and then looked at the wetness on her fingertip。
〃Don't cry；〃 I told her。 〃It's going to be okay。 You're going to be fine。 I will find you a way through this。〃
If there was nothing else I could do； I would still save my Renesmee。 I was more positive than ever that
this was what Alice would give me。 She would know。 She would have left me a way。
30。 IRRESISTIBLE
There was so much to think about。
How was I going to find time alone to hunt down J。 Jenks； and why did Alice want me to know about
him？
If Alice's clue had nothing to do with Renesmee； what could I do to save my daughter？
How were Edward and I going to explain things to Tanya's family in the morning？ What if they reacted
like Irina？ What if it turned into a fight？
I didn't know how to fight。 How was I going to learn in just a month？ Was there any chance at all that I
could be taught fast enough that I might be a danger to any one member of the Volturi？ Or was I
doomed to be totally useless？ Just another easily dispatched newborn？
So many answers I needed； but I did not get the chance to ask my questions。
Wanting some normality for Renesmee； I'd insisted on taking her home to our cottage at bedtime。 Jacob
was more fortable in his wolf form at the moment； the stress was easier dealt with when he felt ready
for a fight。 I wished that I could feel the same； could feel ready。 He ran in the woods； on guard again。
After she was deeply under； I put Renesmee in her bed and then went to the front room to ask my
questions of Edward。 The ones I was able to ask； at any rate； one of the most difficult of problems was
the idea of trying to hide anything from him； even with the advantage of my silent thoughts。
He stood with his back to me； staring into the fire。
〃Edward； I—〃
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He spun and was across the room in what seemed like no time at all； not even the smallest part of a
second。 I only had time to register the ferocious expression on his face before his lips were crushing
against mine and his arms were locked around me like steel girders。
I didn't think of my questions again for the rest of that night。 It didn't take long for me to grasp the reason
for his
mood； and even less time to feel exactly the same way。
I'd been planning on needing years just to somewhat organize the overwhelming passion I felt for him
physically。 And then centuries after that to enjoy it。 if we had only a month left together。。。 Well； I didn't
see how I could stand to have this end。 For the moment I couldn't help but be selfish。 All I wanted was to
love him as much as possible in the limited time given to me。
It was hard to pull myself away from