话参克课抑槐某隽艘痪洌�
“就是你考不上,不管你将来做什么,在哪里,我都和你在一起!”
她望着我,眼睛湿润了。我也不知哪儿来的勇气,便拉住她的手,走到灯柱后面,她靠在灯柱上,闭上了眼睛。我吻了她。我们谈恋爱这么长时间,这是我第一次吻她,咸酸的泪水流到我的嘴边。我说:“你怎么了?”她摇摇头,仍然闭着眼睛,随后靠在了我的怀里……
我们如醉如痴,在城墙下走来走去,一直将近半夜。我送她回家的时候,在她家门口,葡萄架下,黑暗中,她又让我吻了她。如今葡萄藤已经早铲除了,架子也拆掉了,这屋里进出的也都是陌生人了。可我永远记得她柔软、无力的嘴唇和头发中的清香在我心中留下的那种颤动和温暖的记忆……
肖玲的信
亲爱的:
你给了我生命的勇气,我会振作起来,我会乖乖地听你的话,把
功课复习好。你放心,我会注意身体,我每天还要锻炼。我现在给自
己安排了一个日程表——早晨六点起床,然后在阳台上做早操,读四
十分钟的俄文,再替奶奶上街买菜。早饭以后,读一小时的古文,主
要是背诵课文,九点以后复习历史或地理,下午就看你指定给我看的
那些参考书和小说。一星期写一篇作文。累的时候唱唱歌,画画画。
晚上的时间属于自由支配,或是陪爸爸、妈妈和奶奶聊一会天,偶尔
也去看电影,但绝不在下午。
我现在又觉得充实了,总是忙碌得很。我给你绣了一块手帕,绣
得不好,可花却是我自己设计的。你不认为这是浪费时间吧?当然,
我不会花很多时间去绣花的。
吻你!
你的玲
(全文完)
Soul Mountain
作者:GaoXingjian
GaoXingjian
TranslationbyMabelLee
ChapterOne
Theoldbusisacityreject。AftershakinginitfortwelvehoursonthepotholedhighwaysinceearlymorningyouarriveinthismountaincountytownintheSouth。
Inthebusstationlitteredwithice…lollipoppapersandsugarcanescraps;youstandwithyourbackpackandabagandlookaroundforawhile。
Peoplearegettingoffthebusorwalkingpast;menhumpingsacksandwomencarryingbabies。Acrowdofyouths;unhamperedbysacksorbaskets;havetheirhandsfree。Theytakesunflowerseedsoutoftheirpockets;tossthemoneatatimeintotheirmouthsandspitouttheshells。Withaloudcrackthekernelsareexpertlyeaten。Tobeleisurelyandcarefreeisendemictotheplace。Theyarelocalsandlifehasmadethemlikethis;theyhavebeenhereformanygenerationsandyouwouldn’tneedtogolookinganywhereelseforthem。Theearliesttoleavetheplace;ofcourseatthetimethisbusstationdidn’texistandprobablythereweren’tanybuses;travelledbyriverintheblackcanopyboatsandoverlandinhiredcartsorbyfootiftheydidn’thavethemoney。Nowadays;aslongastheyarestillabletotraveltheyflockbackhome;evenfromtheothersideofthePacific;arrivingincarsorbigair…conditionedcoaches。Therich;thefamous;andthenothinginparticularallhurrybackbecausetheyaregettingold。Afterall;whodoesn’tlovethehomeoftheirancestors?Ofcoursetheydon’tintendtostaysotheywalkaroundlookingrelaxed;talkingandlaughingloudly;andeffusingfondnessandaffectionfortheplace。Here;whenfriendsmeettheydon’tjustgiveanodorahandshakeinthemeaninglessritualofcitypeople;theyshouttheperson’snameorthumphimontheback。Huggingisalsomonbutnotforwomen;whodon’tdothis。Bythecementtroughwherethebusesarewashed;twoyoungwomenholdhandsastheychat。Thewomenherehavelovelyvoicesandyoucan’thelptakingasecondlook。Theonewithherbacktoyouiswearinganindigo…printheadscarf。Thistypeofscarf;andhowit’stied;datesbackmanygenerationsbutisseldomseennowadays。Youfindyourselfwalkingtowardsthem。Thescarfistiedunderherchinandthetwoendspointup。Shehasabeautifulface。Herfeaturesaredelicate;soisherslimbody。Youpassclosebythem。Theyhavebeenholdinghandsallthistime;bothhaveredcoarsehandsandstrongfingers。Bothareprobablyrecentbridesbackseeingrelativesandfriends;orvisitingparents。Here;thewordxifumeansone’sowndaughter…in…lawandusingitlikerusticNorthernerstorefertoanyyoungmarriedwomanwillimmediatelyincurangryabuse。Ontheotherhand;amarriedwomancallsherownhusbandlaogongyetyourlaogong;andmylaogongarealsoused。Peopleherespeakwithauniqueintonationeventhoughtheyaredescendantsofthesamelegendaryemperorsandareofthesamecultureandrace。
Youyourselfcan’texplainwhyyou’rehere。IthappenedthatyouwereonatrainandthispersonmentionedaplacecalledLingshan。Hewassittingoppositeandyourcupwasnexttohis。Asthetrainmoved;thelidsonthecupsclatteredagainstoneanother。Ifthelidskeptonclatteringorclatteredandthenstopped;thatwouldhavebeentheendofit。However;wheneveryouandhewereabouttoseparatethecups;theclatteringwouldstop;andassoonasyouandhelookedawaytheclatteringwouldstartagain。Heandyoureachedout;butagaintheclatteringstopped。Thetwoofyoulaughedatthesameinstant;putthecupswellapart;andstartedaconversation。Youaskhimwhereheisgoing。
〃Lingshan。〃
〃What?〃
〃Lingshan;lingmeaningspiritorsoul;andshanmeaningmountain。〃
You’vebeentolotsofplaces;visitedlotsoffamousmountains;buthaveneverheardofthisplace。
Yourfriendoppositehasclosedhiseyesandisdozing。Likeanyoneelse;youcan’thelpbeingcuriousandnaturallywanttoknowwhichfamousplacesyou’vemissedonyourtravels。Also;youlikedoingthingsproperlyandit’sannoyingthatthere’saplaceyouhaven’tevenheardabout。YouaskhimaboutthelocationofLingshan。
〃AtthesourceoftheYouRiver;〃hesaysopeninghiseyes。
Youdon’tknowthisYouRiver;either;butareembarrassedaboutaskingandgiveanambiguousnodwhichcanmeaneither〃Isee;thanks〃or〃Oh;Iknowtheplace。〃Thissatisfiesyourdesireforsuperioritybutnotyourcuriosity。Afterawhileyouaskhowtogetthereandtherouteupthemountain。
〃TakethetraintoWuyizhen;thengoupstreambyboatontheYouRiver。〃
〃What’sthere?Scenery?Temples?Historicsites?〃youask;tryingtobecasual。
〃It’sallvirginwilderness。〃
〃Ancientforests?〃
〃Ofcourse;butnotjustancientforests。〃
〃WhataboutWildMen?〃yousay;joking。
Helaughsbutwithoutanysarcasm;andhedoesn’tseemtobemakingfunofhimselfwhichintriguesyouevenmore。Youhavetofindoutmoreabouthim。
〃Areyouanecologist?Abiologist?Ananthropologist?Anarchaeologist?〃
Heshakeshisheadeachtimethensays;〃I’mmoreinterestedinlivingpeople。〃
〃Soyou’redoingresearchonfolkcustoms?You’reasociologist?Ahnographer?Ahnologist?Ajournalist;perhaps?Anadventurer?〃
〃I’manamateurinallofthese。〃
Thetwoofyoustartlaughing。
〃I’manexpertamateurinallofthese!〃
Thelaughingmakesyouandhimcheerful。Helightsacigaretteandcan’tstopashetellsyouaboutthewondersofLingshan。Afterwards;atyourrequest;hetearsuphisemptycigaretteboxanddrawsamapoftherouteupLingshan。
IntheNorth;itisalreadylateautumn。Here;however;thesummerheathasn’tpletelysubsided。Beforesunset;itisstillquitehotinthesunandsweatstartsrunningdownyourback。Youleavethestationtolookaround。There’snothingnearbyexceptforthelittleinnacrosstheroad。It’sanoldstylebuildingwithawoodenshopfrontandanupstairs。Upstairsthefloorboardscreakbadlybutworsestillisthegrimeonthepillowandsleepingmat。Towash;you’dhavetowaittillitwasdarktostripoffandpourwateroveryourselfinthedampnarrowcourtyard。Thisisastopoverforthevillagepeddlersandcraftsmen。
It’swellbeforedark;sothere’splentyoftimetofindsomewhereclean。Youwalkdowntheroadwithyourbackpacktolookoverthelittletown;hopingtofindsomeindication;abillboardoraposter;orjustthename〃Lingshan〃totellyouyou’reontherighttrackandhaven’tbeentrickedintomakingthislongexcursion。Youlookeverywherebutdon’tfindanything。Therewerenotouristslikeyouamongsttheotherpassengerswhogotoffthebus。Ofcourseyou’renotthatsortoftourist;it’sjustwhatyou’rewearing:strongsensiblesportsshoesandabackpackwithshoulderstraps;no…oneelseisdressedlikeyou。Ofcourse;thisisn’toneofthetouristspotsfrequentedbynewlywedsandretirees。Thoseplaceshavebeentransformedbytourism;coachesareparkedeverywhereandtouristmapsareonsale。Touristhats;touristT…shirts;touristsingletsandtouristhandkerchiefsbearingthenameoftheplaceareinallthelittleshopsandstalls;andthenameoftheplaceisusedinthetradenamesofallthe〃foreignexchangecurrencyonly〃hotelsforforeigners;the〃localswithreferencesonly〃hostelsandsanatoriums;andofcoursethesmallprivatehotelspetingforcustomers。Youhaven’tetoenjoyyourselfinoneofthoseplacesonthesunnysideofamountainwherepeoplecongregatejusttolookatandjostleoneanother;andtoaddtothelitterofmelonrind;fruitpeel;softdrinkbottles;cans;cartons;sandwichwrappingsandcigarettebutts。Soonerorlaterthisplacewillalsoboombutyou’reherebeforetheyputupthegaudypavilionsandterraces;beforethereportersewiththeircameras;andbeforethecelebritiesetoputupplaqueswiththeircalligraphy。Youcan’thelpfeelingratherpleasedwithyourselfyetyou’reanxious。There’snosignofanythingherefortourists;haveyoumadeablunder?You’reonlygoingbythemaponthecigaretteboxinyourshirtpocket;whatiftheexpertamateuryoumetonthetrainhadonlyheardabouttheplaceonhistravels?Howdoyouknowhewasn’tjustmakingitallup?Youhaven’teverseentheplacementionedintravelaccountsandit’snotlistedinthemostuptodatetravelmanuals。Ofcourse;itisn’thardtofindplaceslikeLingtai;Lingqiu;LingyanandevenLingshanonprovincialmapsandyouknowverywellthatinthehistoriesandclassics;LingshanappearsinworksdatingbacktotheancientshamanisticworkClassicoftheMountainsandSeas;andtheoldgeographicalgazetteerAnnotatedWaterClassic。ItwasalsoatLingshanthatBuddhaenlightenedtheVenerableMahakashyapa。You’renotstupid;sojustuseyourbrains;firstfindthisplaceWuyizhenonthecigarettebox;forthisishowyou’llgettoLingshan。
Youreturntothebusstationandgointothewaitingroom。Thebusiestplaceinthissmalltownisnowdeserted。Theticketwindowandtheparcelwindowareboardedupfromtheinsidesoknockingisuseless。There’snowheretoasksoyoucanonlygothroughthelistsofstopsabovetheticketwindow:ZhangVillage;SandyFlat;CementFactory;OldHut;GoldenHorse;GoodHarvest;FloodWaters;DragonBay;PeachBlossomHollow…thenameskeepgettingbetter;buttheplaceyouwantisn’tthere。Thisisjustasmalltownbuttherearesev