《高行健文集》

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高行健文集- 第15部分


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Hesingssongaftersong。Hesayshe’safun…lovingperson;Ibelievehim。Whenhefinishedupasvillagehead;hewentbacktobeingoneofthemountainpeople;anoldmountainmanwholikesgoodfun;unfortunatelyheispasttheageforromance。

Healsoknowsincantations;thekindhuntersusewhentheygointothemountains。Theyarecalledmountainblack…magicorhexesandhehasnoqualmsaboutusingthem。Hereallybelievestheycandrivewildanimalsintopitsorgetthemtostepintosnares。Theyaren’tusedonlyonanimals;they’realsousedagainstotherhumansbeingsforrevenge。Avictimofmountainblack…magicwon’tbeabletofindhiswayoutofthemountains。Theyarelikethe〃demonwalls〃Iheardaboutasachild:whensomeonehasbeentravellingforsometimeatnightinthemountains;awall;aclifforadeepriverappearsrightinfrontofhim;sothathecan’tgoanyfurther。Ifthespellisn’tbrokentheperson’sfeetdon’tmoveforwardandevenifhekeepswalking;hestaysexactlywherehestartedoff。Onlyatdaybreakdoeshediscoverthathehasbeengoingaroundincircles。That’snotsobad;theworstiswhenapersonisledintoablind…alley:thatmeansdeath。

Heintonesstringsofincantations。It’snotslowandrelaxedlikewhenheissinging;butjustnan…nan…na…natoaquickbeat。Ican’tunderstanditatallbutIcanfeelthemysticalpullofthewords;ademonicawesomeatmosphereinstantlypermeatestheroom;theinsideofwhichisblackfromsmoke。Theglowoftheflameslickingtheironpotofmuttonstewmakehiseyesglint。Thisisallstarklyreal。

WhileyousearchfortheroutetoLingshan;IwanderalongtheYangtzeRiverlookingforthissortofreality。Ihadjustgohroughacrisisandthen;ontopofthat;adoctorwronglydiagnosedmewithlungcancer。DeathwasplayingajokeonmebutnowthatI’veescapedthedemonwall;Iamsecretlyrejoicing。Lifeformeonceagainhasawonderfulfreshness。Ishouldhaveleftthosecontaminatedsurroundingslongagoandreturnedtonaturetolookforthisauthenticlife。

InthosecontaminatedsurroundingsIwastaughtthatlifewasthesourceofliterature;thatliteraturehadtobefaithfultolife;faithfultoreallife。MymistakewasthatIhadalienatedmyselffromlifeandendedupturningmybackonreallife。However;reallifeisnotthesameasmanifestationsoflife。Reallife;orinotherwordsthebasicsubstanceoflife;shouldbetheformerandnotthelatter。IhadgoneagainstreallifebecauseIwassimplystringingtogetherlife’smanifestations;soofcourseIwasn’tabletoaccuratelyportraylifeandintheendonlysucceededindistortingreality。

Idon’tknowwhetherI’mnowontherighttrackbutinanycaseI’veextricatedmyselffromthebustlingliteraryworldandalsoescapedfrommysmoke…filledroom。Thebookspiledeverywhereinthatroomwereoppressiveandstifling。Theyexpoundedallsortsoftruths;historicaltruthstotruthsonhowtobehuman。Icouldn’tseethepointofsomanytruthsbutstillgotenmeshedintheofthosetruthsandwasstrugglinghopelessly;likeaninsectcaughtinaspider’sweb。Fortunately;thedoctorwhogavethewrongdiagnosissavedmylife。HewasquitefrankandgotmetoparethetwochestX…raystakenontwoseparateoccasions:ablurryshadowontheleftlobeofthelunghadspreadalongthesecondribtothewallofthewindpipe。Itwouldn’thelpeventohavethewholeoftheleftloberemoved。Theoutewasobvious。Myfatherhaddiedoflungcancer。Hediedwithinthreemonthsofitbeingdiscoveredanditwasthisdoctorwhohadcorrectlydiagnosedit。Ihadfaithinhismedicalexpertiseandhehadfaithinscience。ThechestX…raystakenattwodifferenthospitalswereidentical;therewasnopossibilityofatechnicalmistake。HealsowroteanauthorizationforasectionalX…ray;theappointmentwasinhalfamonth’stime。Thiswasnothingtogetworriedabout;itwasjusttodetermiheextentofthetumour。Myfatherhadthisdonebeforehedied。TheoutewouldbethesamewhetherornotIhadtheX…ray;itwasnothingspecial。ThatIinfactwouldslipthroughthefingersofDeathcanonlybeputdowntogoodluck。IbelieveinsciencebutIalsobelieveinfate。

Ioncesawafour…inchlengthofwoodwhichhadbeencollectedintheQiangregionbyananthropologistduringthe1930s。Itwasacarvedstatueofapersondoingahandstand。Theheadhadinkmarkingsfortheeyes;noseandmouth;andtheword〃longevity〃waswrittenonthebody。Itwascalled〃WuchangUpsideDown〃andtherewassomethingoddlymischievousaboutit。Iasktheretiredvillageheadwhethersuchtalismansarestillaround。Hetellsmethesearecalled〃oldroot〃。Thiswoodenidolhastoacpanythenewbornfrombirthtodeath。Atdeathitacpaniesthecorpsefromthehouseandaftertheburialitisplacedinthewildernesstoallowthespirittoreturntonature。IaskhimifhecangetmeonesothatIcancarryitonme。Helaughsandsaysthesearewhathunterstuckintotheirshirtstowardoffevilspirits;theywouldn’tbeofanyusetosomeonelikeme。

〃Isthereanoldhunterwhoknowsaboutthissortofmagicandcantakemehuntingwithhim?〃Iask。

〃GrandpaStonewouldbethebest;〃hesaysafterthinkingaboutit。

〃HowcanIfindhim?〃Iaskrightaway。

〃He’sinGrandpaStone’sHut。〃

〃Where’sthisGrandpaStone’sHut。〃

〃GoanothertwentyliontoSilverMineGullythenfollowthecreekrightuptotheend。Thereyou’llfindastonehut。〃

〃IsthatthenameoftheplaceordoyoumeanthehutofGrandpaStone?〃

Hesaysit’sthenameoftheplace;thatthere’sinfactastonehut;andthatGrandpaStonelivesthere。

〃Canyoutakemetohim?〃Igoontoask。

〃He’sdead。Helaydownonhisbedanddiedinhissleep。Hewastooold;helivedtowelloverniy;someevensaywelloverahundred。Inanycase;nobody’ssureabouthisage。〃

〃Areanyofhisdescendantsstillalive?〃Ican’thelpasking。

〃Inmygrandfather’sgenerationandforaslongasIcanremember;hewasalwaysonhisown。〃

〃Withoutawife?〃

〃HelivedonhisowninSilverMineGully。Helivedhighupthegully;inthesolitaryhut;alone。Oh;andthatrifleofhisisstillhangingonthewallofthehut。〃

Iaskhimwhathe’stryingtotellme。

HesaysGrandpaStonewasafantastichunter;ahunterwhowasanexpertinthemagicalarts。Therearenohunterslikethatnowadays。Everyoneknowsthathisrifleishanginginthehut;thatitnevermissesthetarget;butnobodydarestogoandtakeit。

〃Why?〃I’mevenmorepuzzled。

〃TherouteintoSilverMineGullyiscut。〃

〃There’snowaythrough?〃

〃Notanymore。Earlieronpeopleusedtominesilverthere;afirmfromChengduhiredateamofworkersandtheybeganmining。Lateron;aftertheminewaslooted;everyonejustleft。Theplankroadstheylaideitherbrokeuporrotted。〃

〃Whendidallthishappen。〃

〃Whenmygrandfatherwasstillalive;morethanfiftyyearsago。〃

Thatwouldbeaboutright;afterallhe’salreadyretiredandhasbeehistory;realhistory。

〃Sosincethennobody’severgohere?〃Ibeeevenmoreintrigued。

〃Hardtosay;anywayit’shardtogetthere。〃

〃Andthehuthasrotted?〃

〃Stonecollapses;howcanitrot?〃

〃Iwastalkingabouttheridgepole。〃

〃Oh;quiteright。〃

Hedoesn’twanttotakemethere;nordoeshewanttofindahunterforme;sohe’sleadingmeonlikethis;Ithink。

〃Thenhowdoyouknowtherifle’sstillhangingonthewall?〃Iask;regardless。

〃That’swhateveryonesays;someonemust’veseenit。TheyallsaythatGrandpaStoneisincredible;hiscorpsehasn’trottedandwildanimalsdon’tdaretogonear。Hejustliesthereallstiffandemaciated;andhisrifleishangingthereonthewall。〃

〃Impossible。Withthehighhumidityuphereinthemountain;thecorpsewouldhaverottedandtheriflewouldhaveturnedintoapileofrust;〃Iargue。

〃Idon’tknow。Anyway;peoplehavebeensayingthisforyears。〃Herefusestogiveinandstickstohisstory。ThelightofthefiredancesinhiseyesandIseemtodetectacunningnessinthem。

〃Andyou’veneverseenhim?〃Iwon’tlethimoff。

〃Peoplewhohaveseenhimsaythatheseemstobeasleep;thathe’semaciated;andthattherifleishangingthereonthewallabovehishead;〃hegoesonunruffled。〃Heknewblack…magic。It’snotjustthatpeopledon’tdaregotheretostealhisrifle;evenanimalsdon’tdaretogonear。〃

Thehunterisalreadymyth。Totalkaboutamixtureofhistoryandlegendishowfolkstoriesareborn。Realityexistsonlythroughexperience;anditmustbepersonalexperience。However;oncerelated;evenpersonalexperiencebeesanarrative。Realitycan’tbeverifiedanddoesn’tneedtobe;thatcanbeleftfortherealityoflifeexpertstodebate。Whatisimportantislife。RealityissimplythatIamsittingbythefireinthisroomwhichisblackwithgrimeandsmokeandthatIseethelightofthefiredancinginhiseyes。Realityismyself;realityisonlytheperceptionofthisinstantanditcan’tberelatedtoanotherperson。Allthatneedstobesaidisthatoutside;amistisenclosingthegreen…bluemountaininahazeandyourheartisreverberatingwiththerushingwaterofaswift…flowingstream。

读王蒙的《杂色》

作者:高行健

当代文学是很少被认为有杰作的,因为是当代人写的,写的又是当代活人的事,远不如古人写的死去了的生活那样幸运。崇尚已经作古了的人是文学史的事情,于是被注释、被评点、被分析得头头是道。而一经入史便成为大家,于是又被引证、被考据,成为准则,当作经典,连现今的言行也从中找寻出处和根据。作家一旦死去,作品方变得神圣起来。当代作家生前则难得有这分荣幸,即使受到推崇,也总留有余地,免得骄傲。至于批评,则又当别论。然而,当代作品如果能有杰作,我想王蒙的《杂色》可以属于这杰作之林,虽然这么说无疑是有争议的。

主人公曹千里,一位热情、有抱负却因此倒了霉的老小伙子,在我们都熟悉的那个时代,被发配到了边疆,即使是“自愿的”,也还是被发配,骑上了一匹毛色混杂的老马,小说《杂色》的题目就这么来的。他们到牧场上去,曹千里同他的老马,又可以说老马同曹千里,因为这老马同曹千里互为写照,难舍难分。他们从牧区公社革命委员会的马厩里出来,水过河,经过了光秃秃的戈壁滩,进了个小村子,有房舍、人家和公鸡打架,还有鼻子上笑起来布着细小纹路的维吾尔族可爱的女售货员。又碰上了一条恶狗和一条并未看见的蛇。又穿过了有声有色的小溪谷,然后到了牧场。先是阳光灿烂,接着天边出现了乌云,跟着下雹子,随后便倾盆大雨,先是发冷,后是挨饿。好容易熬到了一个孤零零的毡房,有一位哈萨克族老妈妈招待他喝了酸马奶。又要呕吐,还是克制住了。随后马奶在胃里发酵,晕乎乎地上了头。曹千里总算又爬到了这匹老马的背上,歪歪斜斜,好在又上路了,倒也平安无事。

没有强盗,也没有间谍,也没有艳遇和爱情的悲剧抑或喜剧,抑或悲喜交加剧,除了那个收鸡蛋换糖果的维吾尔族女售货员那么一瞬间鼻子上出现细小纹路的微笑,明朗、�
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